Domestic discontents
At some point in the past week, by some vector I have not yet uncovered, a group of gnats infiltrated my house. This is annoying on many levels, not the least of which is that the spiders which I kindly tolerate haven’t been able to quickly snub out the little buggers, so they’ve taken to breeding. And those little motherfuckers breed quick.
Not being terribly well-versed in the area of insecothingiology I’ve fallen back on the time-honored tradition of learning through observation. Of the many rather useless facts I’ve gathered, such as their evolutionarily retarded tendency to spend large amounts of time resting in groups on bright white surfaces, I gleaned one of use: they really like standing water.The sink has become a delightful little day spa for them. Little cleansing rivulets of pure(ish) water, streaming down from the heavens and leaving delicate little dew drops near which they can gather and commune with one another – like a minitureized watercooler and ice cream social. I’m sure there are also negative ions and all the healful psychological aspects of burbling streams and such that the hippies hold so dear. In short, they love them some water.
So, being an enterprising vegetarian of questionable ethical standing, I’ve taken what I believe to be a clever – if morally bankrupt – approach to the problem. Around my house, at stratigic locations (oddly enough, near all water sources) I’ve placed a nice, refreshing glass of wine. Mmm… Smells all fruity, and moist and yummy.
As it turns out, this is leading to two running hypothesises which I will be testing over the next couple days via observation of my little experiment:
1) Despite the alcohol, they do seem to try to drink from the droplets on the glass.
2) Even sober, they’re stupid enough to drown themselves in the glass.
Ah, the miricles of nature.